The Gro Clock is blue.
Mummy stayed up till nearly 11 finishing a book after a Zoom call – both the lateness of the light-out and the socialising an uncommon occurrence.
“Is it time to get up yet mummy?”
How many different ways can I say ‘no, it’s really not anywhere near getting up time my little cherub’. That half an hour till the sun rises on your clock is the difference between mummy being all Mary Poppins or Medusa for the rest of the day.
So eyes scrunched closed enough to avoid full consciousness but enough to not walk in to the door with you, you are carried in to our bed.
I desperately try to grasp back that early morning sleep, peppered with dreams as my REM goes in to overdrive. I breathe deeply. I try relax in to the mattress. And then I remember that the chances of further sleep are about as close as us exiting lockdown… a distant but highly-desired dream. I have you sandwiched between us.
And this is the reality:
- Dramatic sighs – the injustice of it not being getting up time
- Pretend snores – you really are your father’s son
- Hair strokes but much like your efforts with the cats, I’m brushed up the wrong way
- A sharp heel or elbow skilfully placed between the vertebrae for maximum impact
- Counting to three. Counting to three again. And again. At least make it to ten for the love of god
- Stage whispers of ‘is it sunshine yet’
- Flailing arms that of course make contact with my face
- Stroking my face but then moving to tickling my ear (not so much a tickle as ramming a digit in my lug-hole)
- Singing the ‘Tidy Up’ song from the Toddler Club… but just the two first lines on repeat – if only this inspired actual tidying up
- Debating “hmmm… which trains I’m going to play with today?”
It’s futile. I may as well have admitted defeat at 6:30am and followed you downstairs.
When you are up, the world is up. Why fight the inevitable. People: Mary Poppins has left the building and packed up the Groclock in her carpet bag.
Give in and tame those snakes with a mahoosive coffee Medusa – there will be no more z’s for you.
How does your little person rouse you from sleep? Do you have any strategies for keeping them contained till an acceptable hour?