Today saw the end of Lockdown Version 2.0. Will there be a V3.0? Chances are high for January I’d say but as we settle in to life in tiers – or tears – then hopefully common sense and caution will prevail.
I set out at the beginning of this period of quarantine to embrace gratitude, to look for the positives and celebrate the little wins. I’ve shared with you the highs, from baking to blue skies; fashion to phonics.
I just wanted to clarify, I was looking for the positives but it didn’t mean I was rolling around in a bed of isolated roses. There have been the usual challenges. Do not have us confused with a Stepford Family.
So in the interests of balance, on this, the last lockdown daily-wins diary of 2020, I wanted to give you my top five highs and lows to summarise this period of isolation.
Top Five Lows
- There is not enough Zoflora and Vanish in the world to deal with my poop monster. Over the last month he’s teased me with days where he has used the potty but let’s face it, Mumma has spent a lot of time at the utility sink dealing with ” you told me a little too late” and “I did a poopy… in my pants” moments. And I’ll tell you, they’re a fecker to get out of acrylic nails!
- “Move your trainers!” “Stop leaving lights on when you leave the room!” “Do you have to start a new loaf of bread when there’s some left!” “Can you not leave tuna on the side for the cats?” “Rinse the milk frother for the love of God!” Any of this familiar? Yep. Working from home certainly brings out the worst habits and all the marital bickering. We were not made for 24/7. Love him to the end of the world – but far more suited to 10/7- or 12/7 at a push!
- On that note can we talk about golf courses. I bemoan being a golf widow at the weekends. But I’d take that over the puppy dog eyes as he watches the Masters and constant grumps about not being on the 18th hole (it’s been perfect weather seemingly, perfect). The low point of lockdown being when my garden was invaded by a 7 foot golf net monstrosity, but it’s kept him happy
- Failed gingerbread creations. Last year I bought a gingerbread train kit. It was possibly the most stressful activity I have ever engaged in. The royal icing was not quick enough to set, little man was too heavy handed, the structure kept collapsing. So what on God’s green earth possessed me to try again? In my head he was far more dexterous, more cognisant of instruction, gentler… who was I kidding? This year the icing bag popped so wouldn’t pipe and he lost interest in about 1.4 minutes, keen only to keep his sugar levels at a record breaking high by eating the train cab. I thought ‘sod it’, chucked him a gingerbread wheel and piped the icing out of the hole in the bag straight in to my gob
- A whole new repertoire of disagreement. Whoever said children learn by mimicking wasn’t joking. Luckily that’s not yet spread to expletives but dissatisfaction is most certainly aped by my cheeky monkey. In being my captive audience in isolation, Harry has become most vocal and quite eloquent when he doesn’t want to follow my instructions. We’ve had everything over lockdown from “that is not acceptable Mummy” to “I am so disappointed.” This motherhood shizzle was a damn sight easier when all he couldn’t express himself and was frankly far less contrary
Top Five Highs
- Emerging from lockdown with a future ‘Great British Bake-Off’ contestant on my hands. I’ve loved seeing Harry’s enthusiasm for baking grow – even if it means a Jane Asher Lemon-Drizzle packet mix at 7:30am to avoid meltdown when “I want to bake mummyyyyy!” Although it’s tested my inner-most reserves of willpower to not end up with the mixing bowl on my head to ensure every last bit of mixture was licked, it’s been with pride I’ve watched him enjoy the process with more care, accuracy and skill
- Emerging from lockdown a little lighter. I’ve continued diligently with the Noom programme. Twelve weeks in and I’m almost at my goal weight despite lockdown giving little to distract me from the lure of the snack cupboard
- Emerging from lockdown still married
- Emerging from lockdown still sane
- Emerging from lockdown
Overall win: Getting a step closer to 2021, a step closer to being vaccinated, a step closer to being able to hug all those ones I love.
What was your overall win of Lockdown Version 2.0?