Under the Sea – A Very Brief Review of SEALIFE London

I had it all planned people. I was going to write an inspiring post about opening Harry’s eyes to the wonders of the ocean at SEALIFE London. I had envisioned a celebration of the ethereal swoop of rays, juxtaposed with the cold, calculated stalking of the sharks. Coupled with some arty shots of Harry gazing in awe, it was going to tick off ‘exceeding’ in his early learning goal of understanding the world! Seriously. What was I thinking. Let’s do the maths. Teething toddler + 5am wake-up = absolute bloody disaster.

And there was me at 6am this morning , worrying about rain and whether to drive to the station. Oh, if only rain had been our problem. To be fair to him, Harry was a little angel on the journey. We took two tubes where he ate snacks, we read books and completely charmed old ladies.

We hurried over Westminster Bridge, dodging the selfie takers and made it as far the entrance before the upset began. Didn’t want to be in the buggy. Wanted mummy hugs. Had mummy hugs. Still wailing for mummy hugs. Blocking up the glass bottomed tunnel as 5583 school children tried to get past the mummy, hugging the child crying for hugs.

So I can’t tell you much about the Aquarium. I can tell you there aren’t many seats for you to fall in to with a toddler who wants to use you as a punchbag to take out his toothy frustrations. I can tell you the soothing environment, relaxing sounds and low lights do bugger all to ease the eruption of molars. I can also tell you, to get out of the various continental zones was akin to Phileas Fogg and his 80 day journey around the world. Never has a path felt so long or have his screamed reverberated so aggressively.

Thank you to the mum who offered me a smile. Big up to the kind mum who proffered a chocolate lolly to cheer up my man. Massive thanks to Starbucks for warming me up with Red Cups, once I’d finally escaped the underwater denison and rocked him to sleep on a riverside bench.

So much for my high-brow ideas of giving him experiences and showing him the world. It seems whilst we are in this ‘phase’ then closer to home and familiarity may be conducive to me keeping my sanity.

However positives must be drawn from this.

1. He really was a superstar on the train there and back
2. From what I saw, the aquarium really was well put together and had more fish than Billingsgate Market
3. I got an uninterrupted gingerbread latte
4. I only paid half price for the ticket as South West Trains (on which my friend travelled) were offering a two for one deal. Boom! Just the £14 wasted
5. I managed at least ten minutes of interrupted conversation with a friend I’d not seen in an age
6. It didn’t rain. I lugged the buggy cover and his waterproof suit out and it didn’t rain
7. I found Nemo

And that, my friends, was my review of SEALIFE London. Now pass me a large glass of wine and some Ashton’s and Parson’s powder.