Dear Dad..

Dear Dad,

Happy birthday! Today you would’ve been 73. I hope you are rocking out on your cloud and “friday night is balti night” so make sure it’s extra hot.

Almost ten years on, since MND cruelly took you from us, I have so much to tell you. Why don’t they have FaceTime up there dammit? On your last day with us, your body had given up but I know your mind was still keen. I had some time with you, all alone, to talk. As I massaged your rigid, bent hands, I made two apologies to you; I wanted you to know how sorry I was you would never walk me down the aisle and that I had never given you grandchildren. But I promised you that I would be happy.

Well Dad, I was a bit late to the party but I didn’t let you down. I never walked down the aisle – I got a lift, and an escalator, and some stairs. Top of the Rockefeller NYC was the destination, so I wasn’t too far from you, up in the clouds for our nuptials. You’d love Chris. He treats me amazingly, he’s calmed me down and he has given me the best gift ever – not the Jimmy Choos – a beautiful son called Harry.

Grampy Pete – I see so much of you in Harry. There are moments where I look at him and see you looking back at me, through his little eyes. It’s his facial expressions and the way he holds himself. It’s heart-warming and heart-breaking in equal measure. You would adore him – that much I know. He has your zest for life, your happy disposition and your relentless energy. I am just sad, and angry that he won’t get to know you. Rest assured you will be alive through talk and photos but I’m sorry, I draw the line at progressive rock. I’ll play Harry a bit of Phil Collins in your honour but Spocks Beard is just a step too far!

This is not a pity party; I write to celebrate you and family. I raise a forkful of tikka masala and a pint of Doombar to you, as is tradition on your special day. I would love nothing more than to give you a hug and see Harry giggling in your arms but I will suffice in remembering what an amazing childhood I had with you and Mum growing up. If Chris and I give Harry half the experience Claire and I had, he will be a very lucky boy.

With all my love

Your Karrie xxx

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